Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I love the apocalypse


I'm not sure why, but something about natural disasters, even man made disasters, excites me. It's not that I'm the anomaly either. I'm not some sort of freak. I think most of us find these things thrilling even if we don't want to admit it. No one enjoys human tragedy, espesially on a personal level, but when an event is so big that you can't wrap your brain around it, it takes on a different flavor. I think it has something to do with the fact that we feel some comfort in an event that makes the issues that plague us in our daily lives seem petty, or insignificant. But there is also just the excitement of a situation beyond our control that we share with everyone in common. Big events bring folks together.

When I was a little kid in the 1970's and 80's we were deeply immersed in the cold war. People were always trying to scare us kids about the possibility of nuclear war. The idea of course being if our generation grew up in fear of the bomb, we would grow up to end the cold war or something. (It's the same principle used with todays kids concerning the environment. The belief that if we use fossil fuels for "one more year" it will be too late and Minnesota will become coastline. Hmm? Actually that sounds okay to me.) Anyway, the cold war ended when my generation was still scoring weed and trying to perfect the gravity bong. Even though they tried to scare us I found the possibility of nuclear war seductive. I am a sci fi nerd, so the idea of a post apocalyptic future was on my mind more than the average child. I didn't fear armageddon, I welcomed it. But you see friends, nothing in my life really goes my way. It's a curse. So since nothing goes my way, and I wanted nuclear war with the Russians, well...You're welcome. It's my fault there was no nuclear war. If you have enjoyed the past 20 years, remember I'm responsible for everyone being alive. I don't think it would be too much to ask for every American to send me $1.00 as a gratuity.

I am always looking for that next earth-shattering event. Something that changes everything, and effects all people rich or poor. This doesn't have to be destruction either, it could just be the sudden appearance of aliens. This happenend in the TV mini-series V, and a also in Independence Day. Both examples went poorly for mankind, but who cares, I just want the aliens to show up. I remember getting tears in my eyes while watching Independence Day in the theatre. I didn't care that they were destroying our cities, I was just so happy that they had come. So if you are an alien reading this, please come. The people of earth welcome you. Come kill us if you want, but just come. It won't happen you know, because I want it. So I think you all should pay me another buck.

On a smaller scale, how many people out there think roller coasters are too safe? I do. There is no real thrill when there are never any fatalities. That's why I prefer those county fair rides, especially the Zipper. Sometimes when you board the Zipper, you can see bolts falling out of it, and you know it was erected by some carnie with no teeth probably addicted to meth. Now that's a thrill ride!

2 comments:

belsum said...

You crack my shit up.

What's so fun is finally seeing all these rants written down after years of them being spoken word only.

Superbadfriend said...

Y'know I agree with you. We discussed this the other night. See, the other night a tornado was supposedly heading our way.

Besides moving the cat to a safe location for his protection, I wanted to stay and watch.

We've already been through one storm and survived.

I fear nothing.