Friday, August 1, 2008

I'm a big fancy rock star

Actually I'm a big geek. When I go to shows, (gigs as they are called in the business) I usually bring a bottle of Rolaids. I pack it with my gear. I do this because I know I'll drink a lot and that I get nervous before going on stage. Now a few people have made fun of me citing that a bottle of Rolaids in your gig bag isn't nearly as rock n roll as a bottle of Jack Daniels, but more often than not, upon pulling out my antacids I am innundated with requests to share in my joyous calcium rich booty. All the rock kids get nervous stomach. Sometimes instead of bringing the whole bottle, I'll just put a few in a ziplock and jam it in my pocket. Usually they get a bit crushed, so when I pull out my baggie all the casual observer sees is a bag full of some sort of chalky white substance. I have seen some serious glimmers of excitment in the eyes of my fellow rockers. For a brief moment I am a decadent rock god, but then I pop 2 in my mouth and offer them antacids. They are often crestfallen. Sometimes I put a few Advil in the baggie as well, and when I pull that out I look like I'm some sort of pill poppin' brain mangled drop out, hanging out on the fringes of the Hacienda night club in late 80's Manchester.

When I wanted to buy my first guitar my mom didn't want to let me. She said the rock lifestyle breeds drug usage, and she was right. I do drugs at every show. I'm playing tonight, and my baggie of ibruprofin and antacids is safely tucked into my front pocket. ROCK AND ROLL BITCHES!!!

4 comments:

Superbadfriend said...

AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA, Chris this is hilarious. You are a walking storyline. I hope Friday night's show went well. :-)

((HUGS))

Jon Hunt said...

I DO THAT TOO.

belsum said...

You should take a picture of the baggie filled with half-crushed Rolaids and miscellaneous NSAIDs sometime. I think that would look cool.

Jill said...

It's all good. Rock stars have tummies too.