Friday, August 1, 2008

I'm a big fancy rock star

Actually I'm a big geek. When I go to shows, (gigs as they are called in the business) I usually bring a bottle of Rolaids. I pack it with my gear. I do this because I know I'll drink a lot and that I get nervous before going on stage. Now a few people have made fun of me citing that a bottle of Rolaids in your gig bag isn't nearly as rock n roll as a bottle of Jack Daniels, but more often than not, upon pulling out my antacids I am innundated with requests to share in my joyous calcium rich booty. All the rock kids get nervous stomach. Sometimes instead of bringing the whole bottle, I'll just put a few in a ziplock and jam it in my pocket. Usually they get a bit crushed, so when I pull out my baggie all the casual observer sees is a bag full of some sort of chalky white substance. I have seen some serious glimmers of excitment in the eyes of my fellow rockers. For a brief moment I am a decadent rock god, but then I pop 2 in my mouth and offer them antacids. They are often crestfallen. Sometimes I put a few Advil in the baggie as well, and when I pull that out I look like I'm some sort of pill poppin' brain mangled drop out, hanging out on the fringes of the Hacienda night club in late 80's Manchester.

When I wanted to buy my first guitar my mom didn't want to let me. She said the rock lifestyle breeds drug usage, and she was right. I do drugs at every show. I'm playing tonight, and my baggie of ibruprofin and antacids is safely tucked into my front pocket. ROCK AND ROLL BITCHES!!!


Superbadfriend said...

AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA, Chris this is hilarious. You are a walking storyline. I hope Friday night's show went well. :-)


Jon Hunt said...


belsum said...

You should take a picture of the baggie filled with half-crushed Rolaids and miscellaneous NSAIDs sometime. I think that would look cool.

Jill said...

It's all good. Rock stars have tummies too.