Thursday, August 7, 2008
Chris Hill for President!
I usually don't use this forum to further my own political aspirations, but with the conventions drawing near and my current status as an unemployed individual, I find it is time for me to rally a little bit for the cause of freedom. Many of you might not know that I am running as the Space Party candidate for President of the United States of America. This is purely a write in campaign, so if I win, it will really show what a bunch of narrow minded douchebags my opponents are. Yes I will go on the record and state that I think Senators Obama and McCain are both complete douchebags. It's time someone brought honesty back to politics. How many candidates have wanted to call their oppponent a douchebag but their "advisors" told them not too? I bet it's a lot.
What I want to accomplish right now is to differentiante myself from the other two candidates. First of all I want to come out and openly condemn the practice of drowning kittens and puppies. I AM THE ONLY CANDIDATE AGAINST THE DROWNING OF KITTENS AND PUPPIES. Why do you hate animals so much Senators McCain and Obama? What did animals ever do to you?
I am also strongly opposed to cancer. I am the only candidate who has spoken out against cancer. I think cancer is bad. Why don't you think cancer is bad Senators? Hmmm? If you don't think cancer is bad, you must think cancer is good. Well I just have to say that the fact that SENATORS JOHN MCCAIN AND BARAK OBAMA ARE TRYING TO GIVE ALL AMERICANS DEADLY CANCER, is appaling, evil, and should preclude them from holding public office. Why isn't the media covering this? It seems like pretty big news to me.
Why has no other candidte come forward in support of happiness? I am an ardent supporter of happiness! I guess those other two elistist fat cat career politicians want to keep the rest of us unhappy so they can claim to try to help us through our tough lives. They just want their cushy government jobs, and thier power. Okay I have to say, I too want a cushy government job and power, but hey I'm openly admitting it.
I think it's time the American people stood up to the machine mentality of major party politics, and voted with the conviction of their very hearts and souls. I say it's time to step up and put a true maveric, a true spokesperson of change into a cushy government job. It's time to vote for Chris Hill America, and I'm not just saying that because I am Chris Hill, I'm also saying it because it's the right thing to do.
I'm Chris Hill and I approve this message.