I like birthdays, and I like getting older, I really do, but this birthday is not my favorite. I'm 36. It's the late mid 30's, but more significantly it's the age where I am officially "pushing" 40. (It is official too. There's a government office that records these things. Probably under the umbrella of homeland security.) Today I am spending my time cleaning the house and taking care of Kirk. I get to be Mr. Mom for my birthday. We are watching Spongebob. A commercial recently came on for a Star Wars Lego ship. Kirk shouted at me, "Dad! Dad! That's what you're getting for your birthday!" I looked over at my stack of unwrapped presents, and he continued with, "It's the red present. That's what's in the red present." I thanked him and continued to do the dishes. I don't really like suprises anyway.
If anybody wants to send me a bottle of absynthe, I wouldn't hate it. Actually my two favorite birthday presents are cash money in cards, and booze. If you send me a card, there'd better be cash money in it. Even a dollar. I would prefer one dollar in cash to a gift card for $20. I don't really like checks either, because then I have to do work to get anything out of it. Since I'm 36 today the best present would be a card with 20, 10, 5, and 1 dollar bills in it adding up to 36. 18 two-dollar bills would really show a lot of thought.
My gods, 18 twos. I can't believe I'm two 18 year olds old today. That is the reason I quit my job. I worked near the university, and I didn't want to have to hire some kids and be twice their age. This is also the year when the kids who were born in 1990 are coming to college. 1990 was the year I graduated high school. I just couldn't be there for that, to check an ID and see the 1990 date on it. So here I am watching cartoons and playing Mr. Mom. I'm hanging out with the one person I actually want to think of me as an "old man". Later I get to put together my lego ship. It's a good day.