Thursday, January 22, 2009

I am my daughter's father

I'm growing a beard. I do that sometimes. My new job allows it so I figure what the hell. Actually I'm trying to get all the fellers at work to grow one too. It's a fun diversion, and frankly it's just something to do to pass the winter. But I have an ulterior motive.

The first step in any good beard project is to stop shaving. Simple enough. Then once you've got a decent beard rolling you can shave parts of it off and make fun facial hairstyles. I think Im gonna do the reverse Abe Lincoln this time. You know the one where your sideburns hook up with your stache but your chin is naked. I'll rock that for a couple of weeks and wait for my mustache to get good and bushy and then shave the burns. I figure by the time my daughter is born I will have a full on Burt Reynolds, state trooper, 70's style stache.

When Ronnie is born I will be in numerous photos. I will be pictured holding her. Her daddy will be the tough looking guy with the bushy mustache. I'll have to make sure I'm wearing my Iron Maiden t-shirt when she is born. This all plays into the double standard for boys and girls. For my son its okay to be the silly dad, but with my daughter, I want to project the image of the scary dad not to be trifled with. Maybe I should always carry a fake mustache to wear whenever I'm photographed with her so I can maintain the mystique. So when boys come over she'll point to my picture in annoyance and say, "thats my dad" and those little pricks will think twice about doing her wrong. This is going to be so much fun!


FEZ BEAR said...

Beards, and facial hair in general, are the best.

belsum said...

Just remember that if you go *too* far, it's not scary, just ridiculous. Exhibit A: Scary Doctor Colin Baker with a pornstache.

FEZ BEAR said...

Agree to disagree. I would say Sam Elliot circa 1984 is the ideal.

Superbadfriend said...

Oooooh oooooh, I can photoshop a rifle into the photo that you will be showing to the boys!

Superbadfriend said...


You are like a father of a daughter for reals by now! :) YAY!